All the Battles I Have Lost

As I sit down to write this, I felt like the world around me has been turned upside down, because of me. It's a heavy burden to bear, but it's one that I've grown accustomed to. My name is Charlotte, and they say I'm a manipulator. I live in Paris, France, and I may have everything to be happy: a boyfriend, a girlfriend who's still the worst crush of my life, several million euros in a bank account in the UK, a big flat in the suburb. But appearances can be deceiving.

I'm about to celebrate my 18th birthday, and my lovely ex-girlfriend, Claire, was waiting for me downstairs as I was preparing myself to go out to school. Claire, even though we broke up three months ago, is still one of my biggest problems. I still hold out hope that we'll be together again someday; I just need to show myself a little more creative to succeed in it. Little did I know that this evening would be the beginning of the most harrowing experience of my life. If only I was to imagine all the mess I was to unravel!

It started innocently enough. In the morning, we went for a coffee. Then we went shopping all day long. Then we danced, we drank, and we laughed. But then I noticed something strange. Claire kissed me, she'd never done that in the past, as we were to head down there. I was thinking that it may be the time to make a move, as the conqueror I used to be. Yet, this kiss was just hiding some very dark secrets. It was just a facade.

Problem was, I knew she had some problems recently. She changed, and too quickly. She didn't stay the girl I knew and loved, she became the strange and secret woman that I was about to discover. All those rumours, her being blackmailed, her new friends with bad influence, it has always been the sign that something didn't add up quite right. The thing is, I've somehow always had this problem. I always believed that everything happens for a reason, and things do never happen innocently. There's always some hidden intention behind, whatever it could be. I started to question my every action, my every thought, and my every emotion. I was drowning in a sea of lies, and I didn't know how to swim. So, you know me, I started investigating.

But as I delved deeper into Claire's secret, I began to realize the extent of my own mistakes. I had hurt people, manipulated them, and now, it was all catching up to me. I never believed that one way or another, it would strike back that hard at me. The reason was, Claire was actually in a dangerous storm, but I was just too blind to see it. The battles I had lost were not just with others but with myself. It became the victories I had to win, that I had no choice to get. I never believed that all the psychology stuff that I took with a grain of salt in the past, would be useful today.

Maybe I could save her life. Maybe I could turn things right. Maybe I could stop this big conspiracy to take over her and destroy her. Maybe I could pull her out of the guy blackmailing her. Maybe I could finally win the battles I had lost.